She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
