All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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