Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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