It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
