I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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