CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
