I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
