I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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