His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
