You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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