Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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