Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
