i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
