I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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