walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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