Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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