I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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