my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
