I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror