there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler