allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
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Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
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We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?