puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
In theory, it seemed like it would work.