I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!