I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can you repeat that, but with context?