Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
