my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
