What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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