Duck Duck Cougar?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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