i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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