bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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