Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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