Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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