this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
