My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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