worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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