He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
