i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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