But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
