So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
