Cold hands, warm shart.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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