hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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