do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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