do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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