I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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