I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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