Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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