btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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