dude i'm inner monologue high
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So many bounce houses so little time
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
