Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
