is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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