Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize