i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
third nipple confirmed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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