so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
