i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize