Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
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