i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
