Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
