Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
