ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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