I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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